What sort of company?

     The topic of friendships or the company one keeps applies to both the young and the old. Different people come our way for different purposes, with some we form close relationships and with some we don’t. Everyone needs friends but the question is what type of friends do you have. Do you have real friends or the right type of friends?

     Real friends are people who are always by your side in thick and thin. True friends are there in your times of prosperity and adversity. Epicetetus once said “In prosperity, it is very easy to find a friend, in adversity, nothing is so difficult”. True friends are not afraid to tell you the truth. When they see you following the wrong path or the road to destruction, they alert you. They give you good advice and counsel.

     The right friends are those who correct you in love because they really care about you. On your part, you must not be defensive or take offense when they correct you; this is where humility comes in. True friends have your best interest at heart.

     Do not keep friends that engage in evil deeds because they will definitely lure you to do the wrong things and lead you to your destruction. A lot of people have become liabilities today as a result of negative influence from bad friends. I’ve heard of so many stories of people who had friends that introduced them to smoking, drugs, armed robbery, prostitution and the like.

     Real friends are trustworthy and loyal; friends that don’t backstab you no matter what. When choosing friends, select friends with likeminds. Make friends with people that have a strong determination to succeed in life.  Also, make friends with achievers who are willing to share their knowledge with you. Bob Gass in his book “Discovering your destiny” said “Surround yourself with people who compliment you, not duplicate you!” You become wise by walking with the wise. You should choose people that add to you and not subtract from you.

     If you aren’t much of a listener, you’ve got to learn the art. Why? When you listen to the other person talk, you learn a significant part of who they are, their interests and beliefs. Apart from their self assessments, you also have to study them carefully, their actions, decisions, personality before making them your friends. Financial status and outward beauty should not be the criteria with which you choose your friends.

     “Learn to recognize toxic relationships and walk away from them before they take you down with them. Become more discerning about the company you keep. Sever the ties that limit you! Unless you have the courage to cut off what won’t heal, you’ll end up losing more –much more!- Bob Gass.

 

Get rid of the habit of waste!!!

     I have noticed that a lot of people are in the habit of wasting things. To some, it has become second nature. I sat down thinking how ironic it is for humans to crave/yearn for the good things of life and when they eventually get them, fail to utilize them properly.

     Money is one resource that many fail to utilize appropriately. The fact that you are rich or comfortable doesn’t mean you should use your money foolishly. Roger Babson once said that ‘More people should learn to tell their dollars where to go instead of asking them were they went. You must be able to cultivate the habit of saving. Spend your money on things of utmost importance and save for the rainy day. You must also be able to account for every dime you spend. Don’t buy things on impulse. I dare say that covetousness is one of the reasons for extravagance. Robert G. Ingersoll once said “I would rather be a beggar and spend my money like a king, than be a king and spend my money like a beggar”. Extravagance is a road that leads to poverty.

     Time is another resource which most people fail to manage properly. Every human being has the precious gift of 24 hours in a day. How do you spend yours? People often wonder why some are poor and some are rich, why some are achievers and some are mere average people. Time management is one of the reasons for the extreme differences between these groups of people. Time management is an important factor needed for success.

     Do you spend each minute of your day productively? Do you spend most of your time doing nothing? The busy man has few idle visitors; to the boiling pot the flies come not”- Benjamin Franklin. When you’re idle, the wrong set of people come to visit and evil thoughts also plague your mind. : “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop”. William Taylor once said “Temptation rarely comes in working hours. It is in leisure time that men are made or marred”.  Waste of time is the most extravagant of all expense- Theophrastus. Misspending a man’s time is a kind of self-homicide.

     Opportunities abound for self-advancement but most people waste these opportunities. Most opportunities come once in a lifetime. Someone once said that opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so must people don’t recognize them.

     Apart from time, money and opportunities, talent is another resource people allow to waste. Why bottle your God-given talents and refuse to use them? Everyone was born with one talent or the other. There are so many people who were not privileged enough to go to school but utilized their talents and are billionaires today! Bear in mind that if you continue to waste your talents, they will be taken away from you and given to someone else!

    Lastly, people waste their lives and in the end no one can point to anything such people achieved while on earth.Better a short life of significance than a long one of waste. From now on, make a conscious effort not to live a life of waste. Value every resource you have!!!

The power in your words

     One of the things that we human beings have in common is a mouth with which we utter words. A basic fact that most people fail to realise is that there is a lot of power in the words they speak. Words, most times, actually highlight the difference between a wise and a foolish person. Why is this so? The ability to control one’s tongue can be termed as wisdom while the inability to control one’s tongue is foolishness.

     The mouth today, is used for negative purposes. Some people don’t realise that they are murderers. It is not until you take a gun and shoot someone that you become a killer. You can kill someone through the offensive words you say to that person. You kill the person emotionally and sometimes mentally. When you make a person feel miserable, you kill the person’s spirit and might make him/her believe nothing good can come out of himself or herself. In some cases, the victims of an uncontrollable tongue go ahead to commit suicide.

     Your words should rather serve as an encouragement to people you come across. Your tongue should be used to make others feel better when passing through hell or tough times. Another negative use of the tongue is negative prophecy. Sometimes, out of ignorance, we prophesy negative things into our lives and situations. I have heard a lot of people say things like ‘I can’t make it or ‘I will never be able to do this’. When you say you can’t, then you won’t! Negative confessions made by us, come to pass in our lives and in the lives of others. Some parents, out of anger, prophesy negatively into the lives of their children telling them ‘they will never amount to anything in life’. In the end, they wonder why their children don’t make it in life. When things are not going smoothly, the right thing to do is to prophesy that things will eventually be alright.

     You must be very careful about what you do with your mouth. Someone once said ‘If your lips would keep from slips. Five things observe with care: To whom you speak, of whom you speak, how, when and where’. You must avoid gossip, slander, false witness, destructive criticisms and all other negative uses of the tongue.

     Also, you must endeavour to think before you speak. You have to process and analyse everything you wish to say before you do so. ‘Be slow of tongue and quick of eye’ – Cervantes. At times, words could be the difference between good and bad relationships with your fellow human beings. No one wants to be on the receiving end of a harsh tongue hence they keep their distance from such people. You must also remember in your dealings with people, the golden rule. “Do unto others what you would like them to do unto you”. If you want to be spoken to nicely or with respect then you will in turn speak to others politely.

     Your mouth can either be an asset or a liability to you. What your mouth brings to you is based on what you use it for. The ball is in your court! Make a conscious effort today to use your tongue positively!!!

Dealing with discouragement

     It is quite common as individuals for us to face all sorts of discouragement while trying to achieve our life goals. We are all prone to discouragement. The problem lies in how we view and handle them. Most times, the difference between an average person and an achiever is their perception and response to discouraging times. Discouragement comes in various forms.  

     Discouragement comes when you are running a business and nothing seems to be coming out of it. At the end of every month, your expenditure surpasses your income. You experience discouragement when you’re trying your best to improve your grades and your efforts prove futile. Discouragement consumes you when you’re defeated by an opponent in some form of competition. Discouragement basically surfaces when things don’t go as planned.

     How should you react? Your reaction to discouraging times should be positive. When defeated bear in mind the words of Robert Smith. “Defeat should never be a source of discouragement but rather a fresh stimulus. Defeat should spur you on to try again and again until you win!

     When things don’t work out you’ve got to encourage yourself because most of the time, no one else will. The most essential factor is persistence -the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come -James Whitcomb.

    Vincent Van Gogh once said “In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil which I have forsaken in my great discouragement and I will go on with my drawing”. Those are the words of a man who made a clear-cut decision not to throw in the towel in times of adversity.

     Discouragement could come from your fellow human beings not excluding family and friends. When you’re trying to achieve a particular goal, people will try to discourage you. They will tell  you it won’t work, narrate different negative experiences of people who tried and failed. They could even go as far as telling you that you lack the necessary aptitude or acumen for the job. Don’t listen to them! The funny thing is they will be the ones wanting to associate with you when you make it. This won’t be possible if you quit.

    In the face of adversity, you also have to believe that your problems won’t last long, they are only temporary. Remind yourself all the time that adversity comes to make you stronger and wiser. You simply have to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

     Apart from the fact that your goals will remain unfulfilled, discouragement destroys your vibrance for life. It affects your effectiveness as a person. Also, your reaction to discouragement whether you realise it or not, affects others. When things are not going right and your attitude is positive, people around you marvel and strive to be like you. On the otherhand, if you react to adversity negatively, this attitude rubs off on others.

     “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you and in the end you are sure to succeed”- Abraham Lincoln. I urge you to listen to the words of a great man, Abraham Lincoln who faced all sorts of problems but came out victorious because of his response to them.  Conquer discouragement with the 4 P’s: Positivity, Persistence, Perseverance and Patience today!!!

INTEGRITY- a must have!!!

     According to the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. It is very disheartening to know that many people lack this vital quality.

     It’s quite common for people to lie. Today, a man tells you he is coming but actually he is going the opposite direction and has no intention of meeting up with you. Mobile phones have become tools with which people conveniently deceive one another. You tell someone you’re in the east but you’re actually in the west. Smh!

     Honesty is the best policy as they say. Despite the consequences you are bound to face for being truthful, you must still speak the truth. Dishonesty is one of the things that has brought about a break in so many relationships today. When integrity is lost, there is a loss of trust. People will no longer believe anything you say. This is why your word should be your bond. Lying is not only wrong but stressful because you need to remember every single lie you have told and you need a lie to cover up another lie.

     Apart from honesty, Integrity also has to do with incorruptibility. Chinua Achebe once said that “One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised. This is when you stand for what is right, not compromising your standards even when everyone around you is. Integrity is about not yielding  to temptations when they come.

     Integrity is also about practicing what you preach. A lot of people especially leaders give others principles but fail to follow through with the same principles they advocate. With them its do as I say and not do as I do. It’s not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity.  “Never separate the life you live from the words that you speak”.-Paul Wellstone. Also, follow through on what you say you are going to do. Your credibility can only be built over time and it is built from the history of your words and actions.

     Integrity also consists of accepting you’re wrong when you make mistakes. James Allen said “The man who cannot endure to have his errors and shortcomings brought to the surface and made known, but tries to hide them, is unfit to walk the highway of truth”.

     What you do in secret tells whether you have integrity or not. “The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out” – Thomas Macaulay.

     Warren Buffet once said “In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: Integrity, Intelligence and Energy. And if they don’t have the first the other two will kill you” What does this tell you? Integrity is an essential quality that employers look out for.

     What is left when Integrity is lost ? Integrity is everything! Stop the lies, compromise and hypocrisy today! Build your character through integrity!!!

PRIDE- A destoyer and killer

     Pride is a bad quality that some people have. Pride means conceit or inordinate self-esteem. This is when you’re too full of yourself and think of yourself more highly than others or than you should. What is it that makes people proud? I’ll tell you! Achievements, Success, Wealth, Social status, Intelligence, Beauty…name it! Oh I come from a wealthy home, I shouldn’t talk to people who aren’t wealthy! We are not of the same class! I’m  so popular, I shouldn’t talk to nobodies! These phrases or sentences reek of pride. A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you’re looking down, you can’t see something that’s above you-C.S. Lewis.

     Do you boast about your accomplishments as a person? Do you make people feel bad because they aren’t like you? Do you find it difficult to accept your mistakes or faults? Do you disregard suggestions from your subordinates? There are many disadvantages of being proud. One of such disadvantages of being proud is that you won’t progress. What do I mean? When you’re in a difficult situation and someone junior to you in age, social status or position renders a helpful or brilliant suggestion, your ego stops you from accepting his/her contribution. Proud people are hardly good leaders because they feel that it’s undignifying to take advice, contributions from their followers or subordinates.  Hence, they don’t succeed.

     Pride also makes you suffer in silence. When you’re badly in need of help of any kind, you don’t ask the other person because you’re too full of yourself. No one can fulfill those needs you don’t let show, so you’ve got to swallow your pride!

     Pride brings unrepentance. When you have offended someone, pride makes you unfeeling and unrepentant hence, you’re unable to admit you’re wrong and apologize. The three words that you will hardly hear a proud fellow utter are: Please, Sorry and Thank you. These are words that keep our relationships with our fellow human beings going. This brings me to the next demerit of being proud.

     You fail in your relationship with other people. Pride tears friendships apart. In addition, people begin to avoid you, talk bad about you because of this negative trait of yours. You have yourself a bad reputation.

     Pride causes you to lose great opportunities. When you’re not humble, no one would want to do business with you for example. Pride also makes you unteachable. You feel you know it all so you don’t pay any attention while being taught. You lose out on the opportunity to increase your knowledge and skill  as a result.  

     Pride destroys and kills a man! You’re committing suicide by exhibiting pride. Do you want to continue being avoided by people, losing out on opportunities and facing all the trouble associated with pride? Be humble and you will be elevated Swallow your pride and practice humility today!!!

CONTENTMENT- a key to happiness

     It s quite a pity that a lot of people in the world today are not contented. Have you ever wished you were someone else? Have you ever wished you were taller, thinner, smarter, bigger or finer? Have you ever wished you had longer hair, better teeth? Have you ever wished you were born into a different family? I can’t deny that I haven’t wished for at least one of these things in the past. These are signs of discontentment with your life and features as a human being.

     If you’re discontented with your bodily features, then you are probably suffering from a low self-esteem. You are also probably comparing yourself to other people, which is wrong. You need to know that you’re not and can never be perfect but you’re certainly unique and one of a kind. Never settle for being a copy! You must also realize that you have some qualities that the people you compare yourself to probably don’t have. This is because every person has his or her unique qualities. “Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another”- Condorcet.  Although you might have limitations or weaknesses, focus on your strengths.

     It is this lack of contentment that has led a lot of people to indulge in make overs, nose jobs, breast enlargement, bleaching and lots more. The willing victims begin to express regrets, suffer side effects and suffer criticisms from the public later on.

     Discontentment begets covetousness and envy. When you’re unsatisfied with what you have, you begin to covet the possessions of others and become jealous of them. This is one of the reasons for the increase in crime in many nations of the world. People engage in theft, homicide, fraud and other nefarious acts.

     Does been discontented really pay? It only makes you miserable, envious, depressed, lack self-confidence and possibly lead you to commit crime. Is it really worth it? Contentment is a virtue that makes you a lot happier in life. “We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”-Fredrick Keonig. John Balguy once said “Contentment is a pearl of great price, and whoever procures it at the expense of ten thousand desires makes a wise and happy purchase.” You must know that “there is no end to craving hence contentment alone is the best way to happiness. Therefore acquire contentment”-Swami.

Some of the things u need 2 know about LIFE…

     Although I’ve lived for a relatively short period of time, I have learnt some great facts while living on earth. I used to see life as a bed of roses but now I realise it’s not. Life is wonderful , don’t get me wrong but it’s not always sweet . It’s full of ups and downs.

     One of the things I think you should know is that the troubles of life never end. My experiences have proved this assertion of mine to be true. I mean just when you think you’ve solved a problem,another one rears its ugly head. You study hard, lose sleep over a particular exam and eventually pass in flying colours. When you think it’s all over and heave a sigh of relief, you find out that there is a much bigger exam waiting  for you. In a working environment, the reward you get from your boss for being so hardworking is more HARDWORK!!! As you advance  in life, you face bigger and bigger challenges. You must understand that these challenges you face make you a lot stronger as you overcome them. It takes adversity to create success.

     In life, you should also know that not everyone will be faithful to you. There will be some people, some friends, who you will trust and do good to but will repay you with evil. People will betray you and say stuff behind your back. How should you react? Don’t let their betrayal stop you from doing good. Continue doing good and you’ll eventually reap your reward.

     People will also criticize you in life. The criticisms will be either constructive or destructive. All you’ve got to do is be humble enough to accept the constructive criticisms and allow them develop you. Don’t allow the destructive ones discourage you because most times, people are looking for ways to get you down.

     Life is what you make of it. Many great opportunities stare you in the eye in life. It’s only left to you to grab them. When those opportunities are unavailable, you create yours.

     Life has pretenders lurking around. People who pretend to care about or want your progress but in actual fact they don’t. This is why you need to be very discerning and watch the people you allow access to your life. 

     Take note of these few facts about life. They will be very useful to you in the course of life. You have to try your best to be happy despite what life throws your way.

When just waiting is not good enough

     John B. Gough said “if you want to succeed in the world, you must make your own opportunities as you go on. The man who waits for some seventh wave to toss him on dry land will find that the seventh wave is a long time coming.” Its a pity that a lot of people just sit down and wait for something great to happen to them. They believe in luck/fortune/chance. Well, I don’t believe in all that! Such individuals will probably wait for a lifetime. Thomas Edison once mentioned that “Most people believe that they’ll wake up some day and find themselves rich. Actually they’ve got it half right, because eventually they do wake up.” Life is not a fairy tale where you just make a wish and some fairy comes and makes your dreams come true.

     Hardwork is a key to the achievement of your goals. Many people want to be great, rich, famous, drive posh cars but are not willing to work. Hence, they look for fast means of getting what they want. You’ve got to burn the candle late at night while others sleep. “Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true”- Leon S. Suenens.

  ” The height by great men reached and kept                                                                                                                                                      Were not attained by sudden flight,                                                                                                                                                                          But they while their companions slept,                                                                                                                                                               Were toiling upward in the night.”–The Ladder of Saint Augustine

     A lot of people celebrate geniuses and erroneously believe they were born that way. They only became genuises as a result of their hardwork and dedication to a particular cause. Thomas Edison said ” Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Apart from being hardworking, you have to be persistent.  When you fail, you try again and again until you succeed.

     Waiting without taking any positive action will not get you anywhere. Edgar W. Howe said “The way to be nothing is to do nothing.” You have to create your own opportunities. You’ve got to ask yourself  questions like “What can I do that has not being achieved before?” “How can I improve on what has already been done before?”

     Have you ever sat down to watch a group of ants before. Well, I have and was greatly amazed at how organized and hardworking they are. The ants work so hard to gather and store food before winter. If mere ants can express such diligence, how much more you?

     It is the the act of hardwork and persistence that makes us to celebrate the Wright brothers as the inventors of the aeroplane. They were ordinary bicycle repairers but they were doubly determined. Do you know that Professor Langley, a well known professor took up the task before the Wright brothers but after several attempts, he quit.

     Take the necessary action needed to achieve your goals today.  Always remember that “Quitters never win and Winners never quit! And your dreams will surely come true!!!

Eradicating FEAR from your life!!!

     If anyone says he/she has never been afraid of something then he/she would be lying . Fear is a great killer of dreams. This is because it has a way of preventing people from doing things they desire to do. Fear has stopped me for so long, from grabbing various opportunities at my disposal. Today, I can say that fear has lost its power over me.

     According to Bob Gass, FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear grips you when you feel something bad is going to happen, when you feel you can’t make it, etc.  There are different types of fear. A very common type of fear is the fear of failure. I have been a victim of this form of fear before. This is when you are too scared to fail, so you don’t even try at all. You keep saying to yourself “What if it does not go the way I planned?” This form of fear is linked with the fear of being mocked. You don’t want others to make fun of you if things don’t work out right. This way, you lose out on the great opportunity to fulfill your dreams/goals.

     In order to overcome the fear of failure, you need to understand certain things. Firstly, failure is just a stepping stone to your greatness. Secondly, without failing, you won’t have the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. Thirdly, you have to experience failure, to understand success. Lastly, you are only a failure when you fall, stay down  and refuse to rise up again. John Maxwell advises us to “Fail Forward”. The truth is that every person we regard as a success today, failed one time or the other. Thomas Edison failed 10000 times before successfully inventing the light bulb. How about Abraham Lincoln? He failed several times too. He failed in business, in his run for Illinois State Legislature, in his run for US Senate, in his run for nomination for Vice President, just to name a few. Despite all his unsuccessful attempts, today we celebrate Abraham Lincoln as the 16th president of the United States of America. You can’t be celebrated if you’re to afraid to even try.

     Have you ever been afraid of the fact that people will not accept you for who you are? Now, that’s the fear of rejection.  You make every attempt to do what you feel others expect from you just to be accepted by them. You compromise your principles because you want to be approved of by your peers. I believe that the reason for this form of fear is a person’s lack of self esteem. In order to overcome this sort of fear, you need to build your self worth. Get rid of the inferiority complex! Get rid of that obsession to be perfect! If you fail to decide your self worth, others will surely do it for you. Even if you face rejection at some point, it’s not the end of rope.

   Another type of fear many people suffer from is the fear of change. This is when you are scared of any form of modification. When you’re afraid to change the way you do things, your habits, your environment, etc. My advice to you is to not fear change as long as it’s a positive one. Positive changes are definitely for the better. Without them, you cannot experience tremendous growth/advancement in life. “We must adjust to changing times and still hold on to unchanging prinicples”- Jimmy Carter.

     If you are been held down by any form of fear today, it’s up to you to make a conscious effort to eradicate it from your life. FEAR is an emotion that you must not entertain because it is an obstacle to your progress. Gain control of your life today by relieving FEAR of it’s power over you!!!